I'm a Flirt.

I'm a flirt. It's something I haven't always been, but definitely something I've grown into. It started off almost as a defensive mechanism. I was unconsciously afraid of talking about things I actually cared about, so I would play games and use words to have fun, to lighten things up, and to keep myself protected behind a wall of flirt.

I soon realized something, the random strangers I was approaching were starting connections with me, and I also found that I established amazing dialogues with people that were able to play the game with me. I use humor to connect with people; to flirt. So immediately people are ready to judge - and here's the thing - I don't think they should be judged for doing so. We all make these spot judgments, and I can only hope they're not condemning. So when I'm seen, I'm sure a rush of confused perceptions come into peoples' minds - especially when I open my mouth - and I immediately want to dispel as many as possible.

(Someone once told me that you should have pictures to break up your text)

Humor - making intelligent things stupid - talking in a very serious manner about how I think that Joe Biden should be the next Democratic Presidential Candidate over Hillary at a Young Democrats party; how the biggest environmental problem today is the show Pawn Stars; how I think very passionately that everyone should dance regardless of rhythm or skill; or how it's okay to talk about my race. But all of these things have basis in me, and my worldview, and what I care about. It's not entirely fluff, but it's not so heavy that it'll drag whatever poor soul is with me into a deep intellectual hole.

I think that flirting is - in some way - effective communication. It's breaking down barriers, and establishing a sense of comfort and trust, but doing it in an easy and quiet way. That's part of the big secret of effective communication. I'm not saying that we should all just dissolve our senses of privacy and reservation, but rather make it funny and comfortable, because everyone has a sense of privacy and reservation. I regularly joke that I have the emotional capacity of a rock, and the romantic perception of a slightly smaller rock. It's joking, but it's saying "Hey, I don't talk about that stuff too much, but if you wanna, I'll try to."

I'll try to, and I think that's another big secret. It's caring. Caring is kinda dumb and hard to fake, but genuinely being interested in what that person is talking about is key to communication. The best feeling for me, is getting someone to talk about something that they're passionate about. You can talk about jobs, or majors, or the Heat, or whatever, and see the life flow out of their sad sad eyes, but then you bring up something like the new high-speed disc golf drivers from Innova Discs, and the spark returns (I love disc golf). So tricking people into throwing away the small talk, and the courtesy, and all that incessant bullshit that has been socially conditioned into us should be our operative motive in communication in order to get to something constructive.

(Circleville Disc Golf...ask me to play, and I'll show you the ropes)

There's going to be some sort of tension between a male and female interacting (or whatever your matched pair, or triple, or whatever may be), and while it not be wanted, it's there. So flirting is just making it okay to talk about that, or at least somehow sort of acknowledge it. And hell, acknowledge that the person isn't just a dress and some shoes, but rather a thinking, feeling, person. Breaking down barriers and all that high, lofty, stuff. And maybe it'll turn romantic, likely it won't, but maybe it will.

Sure, I might never see that person again, and that's fine. And many people would ask "Why invest that time and effort if that's it, if it's just an isolated incident?" To that, I ask, why not? We have the capacity and ability to learn something from anyone, everyone, that we come in contact with. So we can stay in our comfortable little bubbles, or we can reach out and see if there's something cool or fun to hold onto for that hour that you're together. And hey, maybe that person is your best friend or love of your life? If not, then it was a fun conversation, and that's better than staring into the bottom of your glass.

So we dance with our words and our thoughts, play this game that is fun and easy, but also so revealing and meaningful. If they walk away, they walk away, and I know that they're not playing the same game as me. I'm happy though, happy that I reached out and tried to connect. They might have read my intentions as something unsavory, and I can't blame them; that's mostly what people flirt for. I just want to connect and learn. It's odd, it started as an exercise to keep myself distant from those people I would talk to, but now it's an excuse to affect and be affected.

That being said, maybe this is why I have the romantic perception of a small rock; I never assume romance, because I'm a flirt. And it of course has implications in relationships, but that's a different chaotic blog post. Also, I know that socializing doesn't come as easy to other people, but maybe that's the point too.

Whoever you are, wherever I know you from, talk to me about this, I am genuinely, truly, actually, interested in what you have to say.

(Yeah, I just thought this looked cool while walking around campus at 3 a.m.)